WHY I HATE MY BIRTHDAY

Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch. Is that true for everybody? Or is it some poetic bullshit?

What bothers me is the fact that, I have absolutely no clue what I am about to do with my life. No sense of purpose. Is this some kind of nihilism? You are breathing yet you don’t feel alive. You are waiting for someone, something to come and wake you after years of apathy. Some kind of divine intervention maybe. Even Compulsive Diligence ain’t enough.

While I’m infinitely thankful for all the time I have here on Earth, I’ve never been a huge fan of birthdays, specifically my own. I mean who does? I ain’t a kid anymore, am I? This declaration of mine isn’t that ludicrous. And here are my reasons.
1) I turned 23 this week and I’m starting to bald already.
2) I think I have wasted my life so far.
3) I dream. But I am not living them. Nor am I living someone else’s. Utterly useless, good for nothing. Well, not really.
4) Refer to my earlier paragraph. The nihilist one.
5) It’s in March. The scorching sun and the unbearable heat makes it impossible to have a ball outside.
6) Cake is overrated. As far as desserts go, cake is nowhere near my ideal selection. I love the concept of sweets at a celebration, but why not CHENAPODA or a Bag of Gulab-Jamuns? Maybe it’s just me, but cake makes my throat dry and feels like eating a flavored sponge. Not to mention the fact that the icing is the most enjoyable aspect of it. I’d rather have chocolate bars, bags of candy, ice cream, pie, fruit punchs, hell — even muffins or granola bars sound more appetizing than cake.
7) Its another reminder of my rapidly rising age. Unfortunately I’ve not yet learned to embrace growing up. With every year seems to come more responsibility, higher expectations and less cartoons. 18 was a great birthday because we became officially legal. We could smoke cigarettes if we so desired, and get tattoos without parental consent. (I still haven’t, but I’ll in June). After that it’s 21, which allows us the right to consume alcoholic beverages (which we had already been doing for years anyway) and get married. Now, what’s there to look forward to? The fact is that after a certain point, birthdays are just leaning us closer to kissing our youth goodbye. Isn’t that sad?
8) The massive amounts of attention. And fake ones at that too. If you aren’t a big fan of the spotlight (which I’m not), it’s never harder to avoid than on your day of birth. I’d imagine that winning the lottery is somewhat like a birthday, in the sense that folks come out of the woodwork to contact you. In addition, you’ll be repetitively hugging, handshaking and all that jazz throughout the entire day. As a kid I hated when older people would come up and pinch my cheeks or admire my awesome little kid-ness; a birthday is like 24 hours of straight cheek pinching attention. On the other hand, if you enjoy being in the limelight, there’s no better event. But what I hate the most is, saying thank you to the greetings of people I don’t even know.
9) People will sing Happy Birthday, and I will be awkward and unsure what to do with myself. Am I supposed to smile while everybody sings? Or do I modestly laugh? Do I make eye contact with people individually, or glance by all of them? Would it be corny if I did that little orchestra conductor thing? Yeah, that’d be embarassing. Is the singing over with yet? No, no it’s not. It’s only just beginning. If somebody out there can provide me with proper etiquette for handling oneself during the singing of Happy Birthday, I’ll give you my entire birthday cake.
10) The most important of all. You will be anxious, excited and nauseous during the weeks leading to your birthday. In anticipation of what will happen on your B’day, what gifts will you get. What adventures will you face. Maybe Demi Moore will spot you and blow you a kiss. But nothing of that sort ever happens, does it?

11) Some of your closest friends will definitely forget to wish you.

The one thing that most of you can relate here is that as you tend to grow up, people continue to make less fuss of you. Probably that’s why birthdays are best when celebrated at school. You buy big chocolate jars and distribute a piece to all your school mates. You had a party in your house where most of your friends were invited and you would be showered with gifts. And now– a case of cold beer with your friends. I mean it’s not bad at all, but it’s not the same, is it? Nothing ever remains the same.

Anyways the point is, you can do whatever you want. Only because it’s your birthday. Or any other day, would it make a difference to you?
“Whatever you do in life, will be insignificant. But it’s very important that you do it, because nobody else will.”


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