INFINITE BOREDOM

After days of ambivalence, i’ve decided that, i don’t give shit to pretty much anything. Well not everything, but most things. I’m bored and i’m bored to death. I may be suffering from anhedonia, it seems. Yes, I have learnt a new word. Anhedonia. Which according to google means “the inability to experience pleasure, usually found enjoyable”. Sounds good, doesn’t it.

The fact that i’m even writing out this nonsense, explains my cause. I have nothing better to do right now. The life-cycle of a just-graduated-dying-at-home guy is pretty much depressing. This vacation is like a permanent reminder that i don’t have West Hostel to look forward to. A reminder of the strange no man’s land that lies in between the sweetness of the childhood and the hypocrisy of adulthood. Or maybe the beer hangouts at the basket-ball court.

So why am i writing this? Its simple. Because of your comment. The fact that i have hung out with so many shady people, is starting wear its effect upon me. And the people liking your comment? Sigh. Apart from my elder brother (Soul-brother), they are a bunch of hypocrites. Yes, they are, Chaz Bono.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, when i say this that, almost all of the snaps uploaded by that no-body who liked your comment, the one who owns a photography page, are photoshopped. I mean really, i know that the world needs APPROPIATE assholes, but him ?? No creativity whatsoever. I thought that he would finally stop his photography(read: stupidity) the day his stuff got robbed. And the other one – the one who tags 100 people in his profile pictures ! I mean, who does that ??!! Man, i wish i could stoop down to his level. Anyway, why talk about them. Most self proclaimed photographers, do the same anyway. So no, most of us post edited pics, not just girls.

Hmmm. So the edited picture. Why did I upload it. There are many possible answers to this wonderful question. – 1) Because Commissioner Gordon asked me to. Gotham City needed a white knight. So i started my work by flooding my page with white light pictures. White. Batman has hung his cape. Robin needs my assistance.
2) Because I’m bored.
3) Because i believe that, my pictures are gonna fetch 1000 likes and i shall become a celebrity. Then Woody Allen will notice me and cast me in his upcoming movie opposite Blake Lively. Think of the sex-scenes i’ll be doing with her. On the contrary, don’t. I don’t want people jerking off to me. Your choice.
4) Because I’m bored again.

See ? I’m beginning to lose it. Boredom is getting to me. Maybe i posted it so that some of my college-mates will notice the “Jatra” i have created and will find time to call and spend some quality time over some beers.
I seriously need a wake-up call. Maybe the next week’s trip to Burla will help. It has to. Bring your stipend money with you. We will be needing it.

If you think you’re gonna visit my page and leave without participating in some “Jatra”, think again. Ain’t gonna happen. I shall always make sure of that. Even when you are being a dick, I take solace in knowing that at least you(my friends) haven’t forgotten that i'm still breathing. It's a win-win situation. And please get me a BRRIP of Hangover-3, if you can. And give me some topics to ponder on, for my next week's column obviously. <*Evil Grin>

REVISITING MY CHILDHOOD BELIEFS

So, Jiah Khan is dead. I know. Growing up sucks. It sucks big time. There can be no arguments. It is tough as well. Maybe that’s why she’s dead. What people talk about much less frequently is how hard it is to have your entire system of beliefs change as you get older. I mean, if you come to think about it, it can be shocking! As we morph from children to adults, our worlds are constantly being rocked with new information, effectively changing the way we perceive ourselves and everything around us.

In the 90s, I used to believe that if I didn’t have any cash, you could just write a check, effectively making your own money and getting the item (toys & video games mostly) for free. As a teenager, I used to believe that it didn’t matter how money worked exactly, I was going to convince/force my parents to buy it for me. Now, as an adult, I realize that checks and credit cards are only effective if you have the necessary funds to back it up. I also realize there will come a day when parents will say, “You’re on your own now, dude! Best of luck!” and you will have to earn a living on your own. Now that I’ve learned all of this, I believe that Maggi, at 10rs a package, is vastly underrated as a food group and is an appropriate meal any time of day; breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

I used to believe that alcohol tasted terrible and I couldn’t believe that anyone would want to drink something that would make them act like an idiot, vomit, forget what they did, and suffer an incredible hangover the next day. I used to believe that only ruffians and gundaas and the rickshaw-walahs drink alcohol. Now, as I take the final sips of my second glass of beer while writing this piece(No one’s at home), I believe that alcohol has its time and place and later on becomes a necessity. Namely on days where college was a bit rough, when I’m meant to be doing something creative, when I’m socializing with friends, or when there is only a little bit left in the bottle. As for the puking and blacking out? Now, I believe that it happens to the best of us. Not me though.

My mother used to make me sleep during the afternoons when I was a kid. I used to believe that naptime was a punishment; an unnecessary activity whose only purpose was to prevent me from playing outside with my friends or watching more cartoons on television. Now, I believe that naptime is the BEST time, and should be taken advantage of at every possible occasion.

As a kid, I used to believe that my parents had all the answers to the questions of the universe. I used to be amazed at every little thing they did — from always making sure my favorite snack was in the kitchen, to their way of talking- their vocabulary , to driving an hour to my grandpa’s house without even needing a map! As a teenager, this awe became angst, and I believed that not only were my parents not as remarkable as I once thought, but I was like, totally way smarter than them. Now, as a 20-something, I believe that, shock of all shocks, my parents are people just like me. Sometimes they know what’s best, sometimes they don’t (sometimes I’ll listen, sometimes I won’t). Here’s an example.
Mom- What are you watching?
Me- Game Of Thrones, Ma.
Mom- What’s that? Kind of soccer is it? Sounds like a reality show.

I have also realized that, a certain thing bothers me. The fact that they’re getting older as well. Growing up, I always saw them as strong and all-knowing. Now I’m watching their brain slowly turn into a stale bowl of oatmeal and their body become wrinkly and tired. I hate it. I hate all of it. Most of all though, I hate myself for hating them.

I grew up at my grandma’s place. On vacations, I used to visit my parents. And I used to love spending time with them. I used to love vacations. Now, as a grown up, I can’t wait to get out of here. Do birds go back to the nests in which they’re born?

As a kid, I used to believe that I could be anything I wanted to be. At first, I took this to mean that I could just pick various careers and blend them together and then be the best in the world. I was going to be the world’s first soccer player/doctor. Sigh.

I’m a big movie buff. I always have been. I used to believe that I would get married to a woman, and that she would wear a beautiful white gown and walk down the aisle like a fairy princess, everyone transfixed, myself included. And we would kiss in front of everyone, much to the dismay of my mother and other relatives obviously. Later, I realized I’m a Hindu Brahmin.

As a kid, I used to believe that 20 was it: Adulthood. Anyone who was in the 20 bracket was good enough to be an adult, as good as my mother & father. I just assumed that at twenty-something, I would be a fully formed-complete person.
When I did infact turn 20, I celebrated it in my college-hostel room by consuming barrels of alcohol with my friends.

I was stupid as a kid too. I used to believe if two grown-ups used to kiss, they had babies. Later I realized that, there is much more to just kissing; to have babies. I guess, as a kid, I used to believe that my beliefs would never change. Now that I’m older, I believe they’ll never stop changing. And I know for sure that, that’s what growing up is all about.