WHY I HATE MY BIRTHDAY

Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch. Is that true for everybody? Or is it some poetic bullshit?

What bothers me is the fact that, I have absolutely no clue what I am about to do with my life. No sense of purpose. Is this some kind of nihilism? You are breathing yet you don’t feel alive. You are waiting for someone, something to come and wake you after years of apathy. Some kind of divine intervention maybe. Even Compulsive Diligence ain’t enough.

While I’m infinitely thankful for all the time I have here on Earth, I’ve never been a huge fan of birthdays, specifically my own. I mean who does? I ain’t a kid anymore, am I? This declaration of mine isn’t that ludicrous. And here are my reasons.
1) I turned 23 this week and I’m starting to bald already.
2) I think I have wasted my life so far.
3) I dream. But I am not living them. Nor am I living someone else’s. Utterly useless, good for nothing. Well, not really.
4) Refer to my earlier paragraph. The nihilist one.
5) It’s in March. The scorching sun and the unbearable heat makes it impossible to have a ball outside.
6) Cake is overrated. As far as desserts go, cake is nowhere near my ideal selection. I love the concept of sweets at a celebration, but why not CHENAPODA or a Bag of Gulab-Jamuns? Maybe it’s just me, but cake makes my throat dry and feels like eating a flavored sponge. Not to mention the fact that the icing is the most enjoyable aspect of it. I’d rather have chocolate bars, bags of candy, ice cream, pie, fruit punchs, hell — even muffins or granola bars sound more appetizing than cake.
7) Its another reminder of my rapidly rising age. Unfortunately I’ve not yet learned to embrace growing up. With every year seems to come more responsibility, higher expectations and less cartoons. 18 was a great birthday because we became officially legal. We could smoke cigarettes if we so desired, and get tattoos without parental consent. (I still haven’t, but I’ll in June). After that it’s 21, which allows us the right to consume alcoholic beverages (which we had already been doing for years anyway) and get married. Now, what’s there to look forward to? The fact is that after a certain point, birthdays are just leaning us closer to kissing our youth goodbye. Isn’t that sad?
8) The massive amounts of attention. And fake ones at that too. If you aren’t a big fan of the spotlight (which I’m not), it’s never harder to avoid than on your day of birth. I’d imagine that winning the lottery is somewhat like a birthday, in the sense that folks come out of the woodwork to contact you. In addition, you’ll be repetitively hugging, handshaking and all that jazz throughout the entire day. As a kid I hated when older people would come up and pinch my cheeks or admire my awesome little kid-ness; a birthday is like 24 hours of straight cheek pinching attention. On the other hand, if you enjoy being in the limelight, there’s no better event. But what I hate the most is, saying thank you to the greetings of people I don’t even know.
9) People will sing Happy Birthday, and I will be awkward and unsure what to do with myself. Am I supposed to smile while everybody sings? Or do I modestly laugh? Do I make eye contact with people individually, or glance by all of them? Would it be corny if I did that little orchestra conductor thing? Yeah, that’d be embarassing. Is the singing over with yet? No, no it’s not. It’s only just beginning. If somebody out there can provide me with proper etiquette for handling oneself during the singing of Happy Birthday, I’ll give you my entire birthday cake.
10) The most important of all. You will be anxious, excited and nauseous during the weeks leading to your birthday. In anticipation of what will happen on your B’day, what gifts will you get. What adventures will you face. Maybe Demi Moore will spot you and blow you a kiss. But nothing of that sort ever happens, does it?

11) Some of your closest friends will definitely forget to wish you.

The one thing that most of you can relate here is that as you tend to grow up, people continue to make less fuss of you. Probably that’s why birthdays are best when celebrated at school. You buy big chocolate jars and distribute a piece to all your school mates. You had a party in your house where most of your friends were invited and you would be showered with gifts. And now– a case of cold beer with your friends. I mean it’s not bad at all, but it’s not the same, is it? Nothing ever remains the same.

Anyways the point is, you can do whatever you want. Only because it’s your birthday. Or any other day, would it make a difference to you?
“Whatever you do in life, will be insignificant. But it’s very important that you do it, because nobody else will.”


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VSSUT FRIEND PROFILE : S & B

Hookup culture has taken the place of actual relationships.

I think everyone can relate to dating someone for a few months, unsure of what you are to each other, and then poof!! The “relationship” disappears overnight with no explanation. That is one thing I hate about the current dating culture. No one thinks they owe anyone an explanation. You meet someone, you decide to see each other for a bit, and when you’re over it, you can just quickly exit through the backdoor. I don’t care what year it is, that kind of behavior is just bad manners! We always think there could be someone better waiting along for us because, quite literally, the whole world is accessible through our fingertips. It wasn’t like that when our parents were dating at our age. If you found someone you could stand, you held on to them for dear life because meeting someone new wasn’t so easy.

Have you ever heard that thing about how a guy reaches his sexual peak in his late teens, and a lady reaches hers in her mid-30s? Well, I’m pretty sure that’s true because he is 22 and is quickly becoming an illegal pervert. Not like he’s illegal things, such as licking neighbor’s mailboxes or dry humping spare tires in the workshop, but he’s getting there. At first he was coming at his single status all like “whoo hoo, who needs a gf!” and now he creepily stares at the eyes and lips of any attractive person who talks to him for more than five minutes in hopes that they accidentally put their tongue in his mouth.
That was until he met his match.

Subject name : Soumya & Bhumika
Age Gap : Minimal
Height Difference : See for yourself
Nicknames: Soumika, Gullu, Puchu, Dhana, Jaanu etc
One of the most popular & GENUINE couples of our batch. And most importantly my closest friends.

Unlike others, they aren’t a couple who just for the sake of  being committed enter into a relationship. It’s a sick trend. But not these two. They love each other when they’re insufferable, when they hate their situations and hate their friends and seem to hate everything in their life except for themselves. You might lose respect for them, you might look at them as if they’re weak and can’t stand on their own two feet, but I want you to try to push those thoughts out of your brain because the fact is that this happens. People get stuck in their life and they look around and only see one thing that makes sense to them. It doesn’t make them weak or co-dependent, it just makes them human. This is why I used the word genuine.

Theirs is a relationship where they talk like best friends, fight like kids and protect each other like siblings. They love each other when they smell like shit, when they aren’t well, when they aren’t the able-bodied picture of beauty they were when they met each other because people never stay the way we want them to. They know that. He buys her high heels, while she gets his cell recharged with new top-ups. She loves gup-chup and he fancies a can of beer. Just like any other couple, they too have fights over little things. But the fact that they chose to stick to each other despite several obstacles is what makes them adorable. They have even decided  what the names of their children would be. My sources tell me : Kalia, Pintooo, Madhusudan and Bhansali are the probable choices.

I have known them separately and I have known them together. And to know them as a couple is to know that you’re truly in the presence of love. So I would like to order a lunch (courtesy:Soumya) and raise my glass to the both of them and the beautiful journey they are out to embark upon. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey. But beware, booze and meat are a must at your wedding ceremony!

That being said, almost all of my friends are in relationships. Some of them are way late but they’re together and happy and loving each other like people have been doing since the dawn of time. You see, no matter what happens, people will always need to be loved. We will always yearn for companionship. It’s how we’re wired. So, even though the steps to landing a relationship may’ve changed, the end goal will always stay the same. Courtship is not yet over. It just got a messed up facelift.