DOES GRADUATION REALLY SUCK ?

I don’t know. May be I don’t want to know. I like it here.

Graduating from college is hard for a variety of reasons—entering a terrible job market, having a overpriced and underrated degree that will feel like it was written on a toilet napkin, and feeling like a giant question mark(followed by an exclamation mark as well) was placed on top of your life. These are the things that I expect to feel though. These are the things that have been discussed so I am emotionally prepared for the blow. What I am not prepared for, is however, the quiet losses, the little deaths that litter your path when you begin the next stage of your life. Growing up was never this shitty.

This is something we’ve talked a lot about. Did we really spend a hundred grand on college, doing everything we thought we had to do in order to succeed only to end up as a waitress/ intern for a period of time that extends beyond the post-grad grace period. Ok , maybe not a waitress; you have a job? Let me tell you how that is gonna work out for you. You will always be an incompetent slob, whose idea of a good days work is to change the toilet roll. You will be the modern day Shidas, whose touch turns everything into shit. Your payroll will be directly proportional to your sucking upto your boss without gagging, who by the way likes his ego massaged. You will have trouble getting up at 10am in the morning and yet want the “Employee of the Month” award. Again, this is all just a theory.

People are just having a difficult time growing up these days. We suffer from crippling nostalgia brought on by Facebook photo albums and clicking Refresh, we feel cheated by the new modern workplace so we freelance and have a lot of feelings and views instead. This is a moment in culture that belongs only to us. This is our generation’s legacy. Some of you might not relate though.

What’s stranger, is to see such a blatant disconnect between ourselves and our parents though. They came of age and graduated college in a very different time. Their post-grad experience doesn’t resemble ours. We’re seeing a true separation of the generations happening here, right now.

It’s frustrating because we’re perceived as being lazy, which might be only a little bit true. Because now more than ever it seems there’s a pressure to be successful. Pressure from all around the globe. Especially with these damn social networking sites where you can chart people’s professional progress and silently judge them. We’re living life under the microscope that we created so trust us when we say that we do want to BE successful.

I am 22 and will graduate college next year. What irks me is the fact that most of my friends are all still in such different places. Some are traveling, some are unemployed and doing the daily job search we all know and loathe, some are interning, some are straight up in that 9-to-5 grind at a job they hate, some are already entrepreneuring and only five to six of us have landed our dream jobs. No one’s on the same page. Friends are moving, staying, ignoring phone calls, falling in love, breaking up, disappearing. Some friends do happy hour after work, some are sober and go to bed at ten p.m., some of us can go out whenever we want because there’s no job to wake up to. I wonder if/ when this will ever even out. I wonder when/ if we can all find our way back to each other again. That’s the hardest part about graduating college for me—no longer being in the same place as you all were once. We’re all just so far away from each other now and some of us are successful and some of us aren’t and some of us are getting there and some of us may never get there. It makes me miss the days when we were trying to figure out the solutions to Kreyszig.
What’s worse- I miss the guys. You guys.

Ask me, how am I doing and I am more likely to shout profanity rather than exchanging pleasantries with a complimentary hug. More likely to give you the finger rather pay for your beer.
Graduation ? I am pissed.

This quote from Apratim Saha sums it all– “Procrastination was never so much fun, nor will ever be.”

Things you do/ you ought to do if you have a crush on her

Yes. News flash. News FLASH ! You have a crush now. Feels like spring and the love-songs are just never-ending right ? You are finally feeling alive right ?

If you have a crush on her, you feel like on a high , like all the time ! Like Santa Claus on PROZAC ! If you have a crush on her, you will ignore her. This is stupid and you hate it but it’s what you do. It's what you have always done. You will look at her and be like, “OMG, you’re sweet and cute and smart. Now, get the hell away from me!” This is a quality you have, that drives you actually crazy. You are back in the fourth grade throwing sand at your crush and pushing her at the playground.
Whenever I ignore someone I have a crush on, I want to be able to send them some sort of smoke signal (via bluetooth) that says, “S.O.S., I like you. I adore you. Please just talk to me more and I will calm down!” That being said, I’m really screwed, aint I? But this isn’t just about me. Its about us all.

If you have a crush on her, you hope and pray that she figures it out because you probably wont tell her. You usually have two balls (they are dry and forlorn and need your attention BTW, STOP SCRATCHING THEM!) but whenever you see your crush, your balls are immediately like, “XOXO, I’m out of here!” and leave you stranded. Because you are intelligently shy, you count on her perceptive abilities to translate your seeming disinterested as actually “COME KISS ME NOW!!” It’s not that hard, okay? If she ain’t a mind reader, maybe you arent meant to be together! Sigh..

If you have a crush on her, you will get so excited and think about her a lot and do all of the things that someone does when they see a potential opportunity for their life to change. Maybe probably you’ll get too excited and like the chase more than the catch. Maybe you’ll pretend you’re something you aren’t and try to be someone else.

If you have a crush on her, there’s a good chance that she won’t like you back. Let’s face it. She’s your crush right ? So, she must be a hottie. And the hotties won’t be sitting single waiting for a grizzly bear like you to come upto her. It’s not as if you fall for people who are unattainable, it’s just that…you do fall for people who are unattainable. Bollocks.

If you have a crush on her, you spend hours staring at her pictures. You keep liking all her stupidly beautiful status updates and all her profile pictures. You never even leave her home page. Hoping to catch her online, you just keep on skipping meals, just staring at that blank white box. Cant stop watching her smile eh ? Stop blushing now. She’s yours.  Atleast in your imagination she is. Do whatever you want.

If you have a crush on her, you are never gonna make her cry. Why would you ever ? Such a lovely creature. You would want to know her. Know her favorite daily soaps, vegetables and favorite movie stars. Because she is just worth knowing isn’t she? You would want to know about her family (Are they just like you too ? Hell , you’ll start our own family!)
You would want her to open you up like an orange, leaving a mess of pulp and sticky peels everywhere. Certain parts of your personality will be extracted and you’ll find yourself feeling stuff you never knew was possible. It’s strange to think how many things we’re capable of without really knowing it until we have a proper catalyst — something or someone to bring it to the surface. She is this someone.

If you have a crush on her, then she’s making you happy. Even if nothing happens between you two(GOD Noooo !), being smitten(Read: Latttooo ekdum) is fun and warm and fuzzy so it’s okay. It’s better than not liking anyone at all. Right?

Why you cant delete your FB Acc

1. Because you are super thin now, have a cooler group of friends / Because your ex best friend from high school got fat and you can’t resist watching their downfall!

For a generation of people like us, who live, sleep, eat and shit on the internet, Facebook is the best thing that has ever happened to us. But lately its become an addiction and you want to quit. Everything looks cluttered and you have trouble navigating a proper lurk experience, so you should just delete your FB and save yourself the technological headache! But wait, what’s that I hear? You can’t? You don’t know why but you just can’t bring yourself to do it? I feel you, bro. Facebook still has a tense grip on my iron clad balls too. One of the reasons why we can’t just say “good-bye to all that” is because we’d miss the smug satisfaction and joy we get from lurking people from our high school. Reading that one girl’s bad poetry (posted in the “Notes” section which no one EVER uses) brings you so much pleasure. Also hilariously sinful: watching your ex best friend slowly get fat on their photo timeline! Oh, what sinister fun it can all be! If you deleted your Facebook, how else are you going to feel superior? How about this? You’ll delete your FB when you want to become a better person but that won’t happen for, like, a really long time so…
Plus you look a lot better than you used to in high school. Chicks are pouring themselves on you like they never did and you want to brag about it. What a brilliant life !

2. Because there’s a one percent chance you’ll get invited to something that’s actually cool
Throughout the graduating years, event invitations have become bastardized by the constant spamming of nightlife promoters.(Yet you never get one!) But against luck you’ll still occasionally get an invite to a house party or a birthday celebration that sounds legitimately fun. And you know there’s no other way you’ll find out about the party if you don’t have Facebook. People are lazy these days. There’ll be no personalized text inviting you to their party. That’s a thing of past. You’ll only find out about it, the day after when you get a text from your friend being like “Why didn’t you go to Ananya’s birthday party at The Marrion last night? She’s sort of pissed…’
FYI, there’s no harm in inviting me once in a while. I wont bring herpes or a dash of STD’s with me. I am super cool. Didn’t you see my abs potrayed by so and so on my profile pic ?
3. Because we might become super successful one day and need to brag about it

You may have a shitty job where you just keep on massaging your boss’s ego and changing his toilet roll. You may have no romantic prospects right now but one day you might actually become super successful and need a space to brag about it to all of your acquaintances and exes. We all hope for it, don’t we ? Enter Facebook — a place where the humblebrag was practically invented. The minute anyone has ANY news to share, what do they do? Call their parents? Best friend? Nooo! They make a status update that says “OMG, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I GOT THE JOB/THE BOYFRIEND/THE BODY I’VE ALWAYS WANTED!/ I JUST HAD MY LIPS DONE/ I JUST HAD A BEER!/ I AM A STAR/ I’M SO BLESSED!” and then they watch those “Likes” pile up like dead bodies!(More likely to happen with girls though)
 Instant jealousy, instant satisfaction. You finally feel content now.

4. You’re a masochist/creep who needs to know what your ex is doing/who they’re doing
Sounds just about right. Facebook is like living on Temptation Island. You’re always one click, one page away from entering a forbidden place — a place that will bring you equal parts shame and pleasure. Checking an ex’s Facebook page, in particular, feels like the technological version of cutting. Make no mistake about it. You ARE self-harming when you look at these profiles. It’s terrible and you really shouldn’t do it but you’re just not ready to be evolved and “above it.” You’re actually quite content being “below it.” You are hence, a “creep” .

5. You don’t have anything else to do

If you delete your Facebook, how else will you spend your days? Your holidays? Its all you got ! You dont have a hobby. You’re not really a person who “does” things. You hate that fact but lets face it, its more easier this way. Does this mean you’ll actually have to go outside and be productive? Because you don’t know if you can emotionally do that just yet…

6. You are a coward

Its the best place you have got, to vent out your frustrations with your silly status updates. You take out your anger at someone here. Because its easier here. You dont have the fear of getting into a brawl or getting a black eye. You can take a dig at your boss or teachers even ! This makes you look a lot tougher and more cool.
You also get to "Hey, How you doing" to pretty girls you generally wont be able to, face to face.


Guys/Gals , lets get our asses off our beds this summer and do something productive like getting a haircut or our nails done or visit our granny.
Ohh let me post this on Fb btw. Be right back fellas. :)

An Open Letter To My Crush

Hi Crush, (I could have written “Babe/Sexy Lady”)
Thank you so much for existing. I was getting pretty jaded there for a second and then you came along to cast a big shining light on my life. I don’t even care if we actually hook up (well, sort of). I’m just happy that you’re there.

I don’t know you that well(but I want to !!), which is kinda great because it allows me to run wild with my imagination. Maybe you are the kind of person who likes to hold hands. May be you like lilies. I really have no idea. I like not knowing. It lets me create a pretty picture of you and I having picnics, cooking pakodas together, kissing under streetlights, getting cosy on a Sunday afternoon, getting stoned and listening to records when it’s raining, and going grocery shopping for juice and vegetables. All of these things are possible in my head. You could be this person.

Crushes are a wonderful thing. Everyone responds to them in the same way with this childlike sense of excitement and wonder. You can be 60 and still feel a smile develop when you’re listening to “Hey Shona” because you get it and it gets you.
You represent possibility, or Hope, a possibility of change and romance, a hope of giving me something I’ve been craving for so long. And you don’t even know it! You are just sitting there being cute and pretty and crushworthy, not even aware of the joy you have been giving me. If you knew, maybe you would be really creeped out or maybe you’d realize you felt the same way about me. I won’t know until I actually do something about it.
Right ?

Therein lies the dilemma of having a crush. Do you actually want to act on it? Do you want to give them your phone number and resign yourself to feeling miserable until they finally text you? Sometimes it’s fun to just have the crush.You can just breathe easier in fantasy, where gravity never wins. I just need you to be there and be whoever I want you to be in my mind. It’s not always about actually seeing if you can get into a relationship with your crush. Sometimes they’re just there to make everything easier for you and become the highlight of your day. They’re there to make you feel younger and happier and silly. They add brighter colors to an otherwise drab period of your life. They add fresh oxygen to your otherwise stale-inhaled air-conditioned air.
So I don’t think I’m going to do anything about it. But you are free to guess all this and fall in love with me ! But I think I’m just going to let it be. I’m going to keep you as my dream person and not have reality ruin anything. Don’t think of this as a sad thing. You’ll be the crush who will never be able to crush me. God bless you my dear.

Inspired By Mr. O'Connell