CAN I GET TO KNOW YOU MORE ?

 WARNING : CUPID POST AHEAD

 “I’ve been watching your world from afar, I’ve been trying to be where you are;
 And I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen. To me, you are strange and beautiful;
 You’d be so perfect with me but you just can’t see, You turn every head but you don’t see me.
I’ll put a spell on you, You’ll fall asleep and when I wake you, I’ll be the first thing you see
And you’ll realize that you love me.”       - AQUALUNG

I want to know you. And why is that? You seem like someone worth knowing. Every day I feel like I’m surrounded by people with hard edges and sour faces but I get the sense that you’re different. Too often people seem to think that they have the answers to everything. Their faces are trapped in hypocrism and they can’t be bothered with anything besides their own narcissism. You aren’t like that. You ask questions. You’re still looking for the answers. You are perfectly sane.

I want to act as a coolant to your exhaustive list of things that trigger your anxiety. People with dirty hearts make me feel dirty. Like I need to give my personality a bath or something. But with you rub it clean of my neuroses and judgments. When someone inspires you to take a long hard look at yourself and question all of your bad habits, they’re someone worth keeping around. It’s all about finding that person who’s able to hold up a mirror to your life and cause you to reevaluate the noise. It’s all about wanting to be a better man.

I know you’ll surprise me. I know you’ll take a right turn when I’m convinced you’ll take a left. All of this may seem arbitrary (why does it even matter if you take a right instead of a left?) but it provides me with a giant sense of relief.

I want to know your favorite dishes. The ones which we will savour with a fight to see who finishes it first. You like mangoes? (The “Baiganpalei ones”). I want to know how your weekend was (I never want to know these types of things but you’re the exception to all my rules) and I want to know how you got that scar on your knee (biking accident when you were twelve?) Tell me more! This story seems more riveting than The Game of Thrones! (Yes, Anurag, I will watch it) Oh, you don’t have a scar? See, I want to know you better.

I want to know about your mom and dad (Will they like me? No matter! We’ll start our own family!) I want to protect you. I want to preserve your innocence and drink it up for myself. You learn from me and I’ll learn from you. Deal?

You’ll open me up like an orange, leaving a mess of pulp and sticky peels everywhere. Certain parts of my personality will be extracted and I’ll find myself feeling stuff I never knew was possible. It’s strange to think how many things we’re capable of without really knowing it until we have a proper catalyst — something or someone to bring it to the surface. Dig, dig, dig. No, you might need to dig a little deeper. I have a lot of crap sticking on top of the good stuff. Like a coconut. You like them, don’t you?

I choose not to act on my feelings. Not yet. For I want to be the fellow who will be there for you in every hour of every day starting today. Regardless of whether you want it or not.  A back up best friend. I am prepared to take the hit. You can do anything you like. But in order for all of this to work though, you have to let me know you. You have to let me cut you open and trust that I won’t accidentally hit a soft nerve. You have to try to accept me for my shortcomings and understand that you’re a better person than I am. I’m a little rotten. Please don’t let that deter you though. Because when I look at you, I see someone who makes sense. I see an anomaly — someone who’s untouched by all of the modern inventions and hang ups. I see someone I want to know. I see someone who will take a long walk with me on the road, barefoot rather than sitting behind on a two wheeler. Someone special, with a knack for playing guitar ;)

ASS-LICKERS & OTHER TOXIC FRIENDS

A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. Now being someone’s friend doesn’t seem like a difficult job. How hard is to treat someone you like with respect and, you know, be there for them? Uphill task, ain’t it?
I guess it’s really hard. People fail at it every day, every week aNd every year! Bad friends are easier to find than good friends these days. Cool!

If you’re sitting there and wondering if you are, in fact, a bad friend, or have such friends, let me define it for you.

A bad friend is worse than your mortal enemy, worse than your arch-rival. They win your loyalty, gain your trust and then give you the middle finger without actually showing the finger. A friend is someone whose jealousies and insecurities outweigh their love for someone. Deep down, they might want to be a good friend and care but they’re too messed up in their own head to ever actually do it. Instead, they act paranoid and possessive, saying things like, “This is MY best friend. I’m super close with them!” This type of person can also be an unattractive mix of territorial and paranoid. They wonder if their friends are hanging out without them or if they’re being forgotten and left behind. People who are violently insecure don’t have what it takes to be a quality friend. Well, maybe not, but their own issues and neuroses get in the way.

A bad friend is someone who always has a secret bad eye for you, someone who feels the need to undercut what you’re saying and take little jabs. Of course, with close friends, it’s always fine to take jabs at each other but you know whether or not it’s coming from a good place. Putting your friend down often isn’t “Ha, ha ha.” It’s more like, “Ew, with friends like you, who needs enemies?!

Bad friends are narcissistic, copy cats and self-obsessed. They look for any opportunity to bring the conversation back to them. Worse, they might not even be aware that they’re doing it. In their mind, they might think they are the best friend ever, which is truly frightening and equally irritating.

Bad friends are fair-weathered. They are TOXIC. They’re by your side when you’re fun and you have something to give them but as soon as you’re going through a difficult time, they are conveniently MIA. Everything they do is self-serving. They wince when you tell them good news. They say they’re happy for you but deep down they’re devastated that you’ve eclipsed them in some area of life. They’re not your cheerleader, they’re your detractor. You’re allowed to move up in the world when they do. Screw Global Warming, this condition is far more fatal and venomous.

And Ass- Lickers. Whoa ! Well, where do I start ? Once their job is done, screw you, goodbye. If you find yourself relating to a lot of these or feel like you have a friend who has these same characteristics, dump their asses and send them to Bad Friend jail immediately. Life is hard enough without you having to wonder if you have good people around you. Your friends are supposed to be the solution to your problems, not the source.

Ask yourself, “Is this person worth it? Do they treat me like crap or what?” And if you have your doubts, chances are they aren’t meant to be a part of your tribe. Toxic friendships do nothing but drag you down.

My point is that you have to take care of yourself and stop hanging out with such douchebags. Only surround yourself with people who bring out the best qualities in you. If you don’t like the way you act when you’re around someone, maybe you should reconsider being around them. Don’t shy away if you are a poor judge of character. You aren’t better than Marcus Brutus; you will learn.

It’s time to build your second family. The ones who will help you grocery shopping. Pick out your wedding clothes, help name your babies and make you their business partners. The friends you have now will likely be the ones you have forever, so you might as well make sure they’re worth it ! You are young and hopeless. You might as well make some pals for life.

P.S : Some of you aren’t gonna be in my friend list, starting next week. Cheers.

R.A.K.H.I

Over the years, the ethos of Raksha Bandhan has been changing. From a festival that celebrates the brother-sister relationship, it has morphed into something extravagantly bizarre.

Rakhi is celebrated by a girl (sister), tying a holy thread around her brother’s wrist and the later vowing to protect her from any harm. If the sister is older, it is SHE who protects the brother. Personally I think it is one of those few festivals that treat women as empowered beings.

When we were children, the festival meant a really gaudy, a showy rakhi. Mothers would buy their sons and daughters both chocolates, to avoid any fights in between them on who would get the better gift. And as sisters tend to grow up more quickly, they tend to demand ‘cash’ rather than a molecule shaped gift.

In school, Rakhi would be categorized into 3 categories.
CATEGORY 1 : Around 6-7^th grade students, (For Boys mostly) this was the day to prove everyone you were a hero. Let me put it this way, the more the number of rakhis on your wrist, the more popular you are among girls and hence in school.
Boys would flaunt 15-50 rakhis on their arms as if it were some kind of a latest gadget that others didn’t possess.
Impressively enough, I came under this category.

CATEGORY 2:  9^th Grade onwards.
It wasn’t time for academics anymore. Puberty had finally kicked in. Girls were too hot suddenly. The word ‘Pretty’ had a whole another meaning now. You get to notice the short skirts, loosely hung socks and ofcourse- THE CURVES. And boys used to dread this day. No one wanted his crush to tie a rakhi on his wrist, and over a single piece of thread, change his status from possible suitor to adopted brother. While I have witnessed boys running away when a rather pretty girl approached them with a rakhi; I unfortunately seemed everyone’s favourite choice for – Adopted brother.
CATEGORY 2 – CHECK.

CATEGORY 3:  Rejection had a whole new meaning. If a pretty girl didn’t like boy who had earlier proposed to her, Rakhi was the answer to her problem.
“I love you, Will you be my girlfriend?
Err, No. How about I tie you a Rakhi and you become my brother for life.”
So boys and their object(s) of desire would ‘become’ brother & sister, tied by a string; she would expect a ‘gift’ from him and he would have wet dreams at night.
CATEGORY 3 - No comments.

But we grow up eventually. The bond of a brother-sister is much much more than that of a showy- Rakhi. Its everlasting. Having a sister is kinda like having your mother and annoying best friend in one form. She loves you with all her heart, cares about you and has always your back.

Its Raksha-Bandhan today and I am bored. Happy Rakhi everyone. Its been ages since I have been with my sister on this festival. Most of the times, she has forgotten to send me a rakhi and I have been upset. And yet, I miss her the most this year. I didn’t get to pull her hair. Mess with her homework, interfere in just about every matter. Didn’t even get to spy on her or beat the guys who messed with her. Didn’t get to plan her wedding either or anything.
Oh, didn’t I mention that I don’t have a sister? My bad. No siblings. That’s the biggest curse of being a single son, I guess.
I have cousins, but eh, well, NOT THE REAL DEAL.

So are you still frowning over the fact that your sister is with a loser boyfriend? Or is your annoying brother just about messing your already messed up life? Think about it.
Well, don’t. Enjoy Raksha-Bandhan with a warm hug and a box of chocolates.


P.S - The cover pic may be a tad misleading. BTW, she is RAKHI sawant.
(The idea, theme and title is heavily inspired from Jhoomur Bose- My mentor)