Things you do/ you ought to do if you have a crush on her

Yes. News flash. News FLASH ! You have a crush now. Feels like spring and the love-songs are just never-ending right ? You are finally feeling alive right ?

If you have a crush on her, you feel like on a high , like all the time ! Like Santa Claus on PROZAC ! If you have a crush on her, you will ignore her. This is stupid and you hate it but it’s what you do. It's what you have always done. You will look at her and be like, “OMG, you’re sweet and cute and smart. Now, get the hell away from me!” This is a quality you have, that drives you actually crazy. You are back in the fourth grade throwing sand at your crush and pushing her at the playground.
Whenever I ignore someone I have a crush on, I want to be able to send them some sort of smoke signal (via bluetooth) that says, “S.O.S., I like you. I adore you. Please just talk to me more and I will calm down!” That being said, I’m really screwed, aint I? But this isn’t just about me. Its about us all.

If you have a crush on her, you hope and pray that she figures it out because you probably wont tell her. You usually have two balls (they are dry and forlorn and need your attention BTW, STOP SCRATCHING THEM!) but whenever you see your crush, your balls are immediately like, “XOXO, I’m out of here!” and leave you stranded. Because you are intelligently shy, you count on her perceptive abilities to translate your seeming disinterested as actually “COME KISS ME NOW!!” It’s not that hard, okay? If she ain’t a mind reader, maybe you arent meant to be together! Sigh..

If you have a crush on her, you will get so excited and think about her a lot and do all of the things that someone does when they see a potential opportunity for their life to change. Maybe probably you’ll get too excited and like the chase more than the catch. Maybe you’ll pretend you’re something you aren’t and try to be someone else.

If you have a crush on her, there’s a good chance that she won’t like you back. Let’s face it. She’s your crush right ? So, she must be a hottie. And the hotties won’t be sitting single waiting for a grizzly bear like you to come upto her. It’s not as if you fall for people who are unattainable, it’s just that…you do fall for people who are unattainable. Bollocks.

If you have a crush on her, you spend hours staring at her pictures. You keep liking all her stupidly beautiful status updates and all her profile pictures. You never even leave her home page. Hoping to catch her online, you just keep on skipping meals, just staring at that blank white box. Cant stop watching her smile eh ? Stop blushing now. She’s yours.  Atleast in your imagination she is. Do whatever you want.

If you have a crush on her, you are never gonna make her cry. Why would you ever ? Such a lovely creature. You would want to know her. Know her favorite daily soaps, vegetables and favorite movie stars. Because she is just worth knowing isn’t she? You would want to know about her family (Are they just like you too ? Hell , you’ll start our own family!)
You would want her to open you up like an orange, leaving a mess of pulp and sticky peels everywhere. Certain parts of your personality will be extracted and you’ll find yourself feeling stuff you never knew was possible. It’s strange to think how many things we’re capable of without really knowing it until we have a proper catalyst — something or someone to bring it to the surface. She is this someone.

If you have a crush on her, then she’s making you happy. Even if nothing happens between you two(GOD Noooo !), being smitten(Read: Latttooo ekdum) is fun and warm and fuzzy so it’s okay. It’s better than not liking anyone at all. Right?