ASS-LICKERS & OTHER TOXIC FRIENDS

A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. Now being someone’s friend doesn’t seem like a difficult job. How hard is to treat someone you like with respect and, you know, be there for them? Uphill task, ain’t it?
I guess it’s really hard. People fail at it every day, every week aNd every year! Bad friends are easier to find than good friends these days. Cool!

If you’re sitting there and wondering if you are, in fact, a bad friend, or have such friends, let me define it for you.

A bad friend is worse than your mortal enemy, worse than your arch-rival. They win your loyalty, gain your trust and then give you the middle finger without actually showing the finger. A friend is someone whose jealousies and insecurities outweigh their love for someone. Deep down, they might want to be a good friend and care but they’re too messed up in their own head to ever actually do it. Instead, they act paranoid and possessive, saying things like, “This is MY best friend. I’m super close with them!” This type of person can also be an unattractive mix of territorial and paranoid. They wonder if their friends are hanging out without them or if they’re being forgotten and left behind. People who are violently insecure don’t have what it takes to be a quality friend. Well, maybe not, but their own issues and neuroses get in the way.

A bad friend is someone who always has a secret bad eye for you, someone who feels the need to undercut what you’re saying and take little jabs. Of course, with close friends, it’s always fine to take jabs at each other but you know whether or not it’s coming from a good place. Putting your friend down often isn’t “Ha, ha ha.” It’s more like, “Ew, with friends like you, who needs enemies?!

Bad friends are narcissistic, copy cats and self-obsessed. They look for any opportunity to bring the conversation back to them. Worse, they might not even be aware that they’re doing it. In their mind, they might think they are the best friend ever, which is truly frightening and equally irritating.

Bad friends are fair-weathered. They are TOXIC. They’re by your side when you’re fun and you have something to give them but as soon as you’re going through a difficult time, they are conveniently MIA. Everything they do is self-serving. They wince when you tell them good news. They say they’re happy for you but deep down they’re devastated that you’ve eclipsed them in some area of life. They’re not your cheerleader, they’re your detractor. You’re allowed to move up in the world when they do. Screw Global Warming, this condition is far more fatal and venomous.

And Ass- Lickers. Whoa ! Well, where do I start ? Once their job is done, screw you, goodbye. If you find yourself relating to a lot of these or feel like you have a friend who has these same characteristics, dump their asses and send them to Bad Friend jail immediately. Life is hard enough without you having to wonder if you have good people around you. Your friends are supposed to be the solution to your problems, not the source.

Ask yourself, “Is this person worth it? Do they treat me like crap or what?” And if you have your doubts, chances are they aren’t meant to be a part of your tribe. Toxic friendships do nothing but drag you down.

My point is that you have to take care of yourself and stop hanging out with such douchebags. Only surround yourself with people who bring out the best qualities in you. If you don’t like the way you act when you’re around someone, maybe you should reconsider being around them. Don’t shy away if you are a poor judge of character. You aren’t better than Marcus Brutus; you will learn.

It’s time to build your second family. The ones who will help you grocery shopping. Pick out your wedding clothes, help name your babies and make you their business partners. The friends you have now will likely be the ones you have forever, so you might as well make sure they’re worth it ! You are young and hopeless. You might as well make some pals for life.

P.S : Some of you aren’t gonna be in my friend list, starting next week. Cheers.