WHEN YOUR PARENTS WANT TO KNOW YOUR CGPA

Pretend you didn’t hear. Pretend again. Pretend until you are kicked in the shin.

Screech in horror.

Talk about your other career accomplishments and how you’re “too busy” to achieving your dreams/hobbies.

If they are questioning you over the phone, make static-y and police siren noises into the phone and tell them you’re going into a tunnel. Then, hang up.

Stare at them. Borrow your dad’s cigar. Light it. Take in a puff or two. Declare the results only after watching Breaking Dawn.

Say you’re waiting for the CID series on Sony to end. Sing lines from Wiz Khalifa’s  “Black & Yellow.”

Send them a copy of your mark-sheet via e-mail but when they open it, it’s a TROLL pic of CID fame.

Put a top hat and do a moonwalk. Slowly whilst doing it, get out of the house.

Get a tattoo of the words “#7.SOMETHING” on your forearm — and when they ask, roll up your sleeves.

Condescendingly tell them you’re continuing to score 7  as part of living performance art, commenting on the societal pressure to always look cool. 8 and 9 ptrs are such geeks !

Flip the table. Storm out.

Proclaim you have two girlfriends named Sunny and Julia. Blame it all on them.

Transform into a bat and flap away into the night.

Bellow, “I am gay”. It surely has to be more important than your grades. I mean, we are talking about stopping the expansion of your family. Ever. A great way to come outta your closet.

Reverse the guilt. Be like, “You created me. You saw my childhood. You know what’s up over here. What do you think?”

Maintain uncomfortable eye contact.

Throw glitter in the air and prance away.

Sculpt a score out of delicious foods in front of their eyes.

Bring home your roommate who scored the half of you. Let him talk to your parents. When they freak out, remind them that you scoring 7 isn’t so bad.

Spray them with mace.

Deviate the topic into a classy uncomfortable coming of age-sex related-query filled conversation.

Promise them you will score a decent 8, as soon as you find out how Justin Beiber managed to beat Falguni Pathak. (Rockstar wise)

Crouch down and cover your head with your hands like during an elementary school tornado drill.

Toss a smoke bomb on the floor to blind them and disappear into a trap door.

Go into a frenzy – “Am I adopted?”. Trust me, this is the best time to ask this question.

However if you are a girl and have scored bad,(Highly unlikely) you can always come up with – “I am pregnant”.

Throw yourself through a glass window, because it’ll distract them and probably be less painful than answering that question.