When your MOM calls

“Oh , so Prince Charles DOES have the time to pick up my calls. Where the hell have you been ?” 

“Clean your room and don’t eat late and if you are going to eat after 9 p.m., don’t eat pizza or cheese fries or anything fried and how about limiting your soft-drink intake while you’re at it.”
“Are you really going out in that ripped pair of jeans ? You won’t impress anyone looking like that, and appearances are everything. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. Is that the impression you really want to make?”
“You don’t call enough, and don’t tell me that you don’t have time because I know your unlimited minutes cell phone plan makes calling me and your father that much easier. Call whenever you are free”

“Will you get a job? You are in college. You are studying engineering. You graduated near enough to the top of your class(or atleast you made me feel so). You even did it in three years. So why can’t you get a job?

“Why haven’t you accepted my Facebook friend request? If you’re not going to call, at least let me know you’re OK via your status updates.”

“Why did you accept my Facebook friend request? If I see another picture of you passed out on someone’s couch with the caption ‘How did this happen again?’ , you needn’t come home.

“You have started smoking, haven’t you ?”

"Today is my 13584th fast. Its for your good health."

“Why did you get that tattoo on your neck? And who is that Maarwadi and why do you think she wanted you to get her name tattooed on your neck?”

“Remember  what I told you about Maarwadis and Biharis ? And girls especially ?”

“Mishra ji’s son is a C.A now. God help you. And our neighbour’s daughter, yes Shikha or something, she ran away with her Tuition teacher!!”

“No, I will not loan you money this time. Your father doesn’t have a Swiss Bank account, nor is he a Ambani in the making. 5k a month should be sufficing.

“Oh Boy ! Your dad is totally nuts. Thoda v chinta nahi karte; Mar jaungi tab pata chalega”

“You’re not coming home for Holi? Again? I guess I wont be cooking delicacies after all.”

“What do you mean you’re in a complicated relationship?

“Gosh ! I am getting older and probably gonna die soon. Jaldi jaldi apne pero pe khada hoja”

“When am I going to have grandchildren?”

“You know I love you, right?”