A HAIRY NEW YEAR

He’s been around since the dawn of humanity.
Stone age, Ice age, you name it.
His stay is even older than the world’s oldest oak tree. He’s been loathed, disliked and spitted upon, by celebs, politicians, athletes and worse- “Students”, all around the globe.

Some say, “Its inclusive in the art of ageing gracefully”.

I am speaking, of course, of the much maligned- BALDNESS; or for a want of better word- “Receding Hairline”. Ooof !! God bless the merciful English Language.

So , really ?? ART ?? I am telling you, I don’t know about ART, but it sure is more embarrassing than your daughter-in-law’s FART.

Telly Savales was once quoted saying- “We are all born bald baby!”
Well yeah, we were also born naked when our balls were softer than Kim Kardashian’s bottom.
Whats your point ?

So what is Baldness or Balding exactly ?
Loss of hair on your head, that makes you look like a pig(Read : Loser) ? Naaah. That’s too old a definition.
Baldness is similar to Vasectomy. Only less painfull physically, but equally gut wrenching.
You are devoid of your best assets and you can only stand, stare and pee.

There’s one thing about baldness – Its neat !

Ready for demonstrations then ?  Meet Guy No 1 – Anjan Mohapatra.
I know what you’re thinking. Its happened to him too. Just when someone takes a look at his "He he he he h-AIR”, sticks a finger in his nose and begins to laugh; All Hell decides to break loose !!

He has been growing all kinds of beards to make-up for his receding mop. But he has heard it all.
All accusations, all jokes . Not a single joke left to throw at him.
Here are some classics we tried :

  “Once upon a time, your hair was on top of your head. Now your head is on top of your hair”
              “That solar panel you have installed up there is really fuelling a growth below.”
                                        “Your hair is hanging on for dear life, isn’t it?”

Life is a strange, humdrum affair where at times, one might be prompted to turn over a new leaf and go for a change. But not all of these guys have the luck to be like Rooney or Salmaan Khan!!

Guy No 2 – Rishul Matta.
A regular next door type guy, with a map of Rourkela installed on his head, who will just bend-over whenever you are in a dire need of a mirror.
P.S – His girlfriend is pretty. (So meant to be !!!)

Being a “FAADU GUITARIST” has its demerits also. All his hair has been washed down the gutter. (Read : guitar). The list of Hair-Strings jokes are unending.
Sadly, his lips and chin have gone bald too !! Hence, I helped him with some tips on how to grow a beard; errrr… grow anything to be precise. Just so that, he has something on his face.

Tips : DAY 1 – DO NOTHING.
           DAY 2 – DO NOTHING AGAIN.
           DAY 3 – DO NOTHING TWICE.
           DAY 4 – VERIFY THAT NOTHING IS STILL BEING DONE !

Repeat the cycle and BAAM ! You see an improvement. :)

So there.
Another year is nearing its end. 363 DAYS GONE and less than 363 Hairs left on their heads !
Mother earth is completing her “chakkar” around the sun.
Hope Santa brought you some hairfall potions. WISH all you balding guys out there –
A Happy New “HAIR” - 2012 !! Keep oiling and keep praying.