CONFESSIONS OF A HOSTELITE - (Mainly male)

Let me begin with an example. This will clear all your doubts about, what this blog is about and stuff.

This is a conversation that took place between a hostel boy ( Y ) and a Marketing guy ( X ) :

X: Which shaving cream do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?
Y: Baba's


X: Which socks do you use?
Y: Baba's

X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company??

Y: No, He is my roommate

By the way, did anyone notice striking resemblances between Y and Anjan bhai ? The spot was to be grabbed by Mr Lenin Mishra, but hes gonna follow my blog, so there . J

Being a hostelite has its own merits. He knows the realms of life to the core of his heart- Survival, Adaptability and Sharing. Hostel life…. it made me what I am today. Good or Bad whatever. It gave me independence, freedom, and the power of making decisions, and a philosophy. I surely would have been a different person had i not been a hostelite. I ,on a personal note, have undergone a huge change, a change that you can never imagine about.

In a nutshell,  “u come here as a boy, u walk out a man” . Ingenious line really.

Okay, before i go bombarding in this article, special mention for some people. Hotels, pubs and uploading pictures on Facebook is not life. There’s a lot more to it . “Hostel life nahi jiya to kya jeeya” .

1^st things first. This blog is not about the life of being a hostelite, nor the emotions involved with it.
It is about what you learn here, with a flavour of total nonsense.

A  FEW ANECDOTES I PICKED UP.

1.        The goodness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of steamy scenes in it.

2.       The most valuable function performed by the federal government are entertainment.

3.       A penny saved is worthless.

4.       They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies.

5.       The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.

6.       The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are or will be some day, WORLD LEADERS & there is nothing that we cant do.

7.       There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 10.

8.       There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

9.       Nobody is normal.

10.    At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that:
- The universe is even bigger than they thought!
- There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!
- Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.

11.     The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

12.     Sachin Tendulkar is GOD.

13.     The other synonym of our education system is “SHIT”.

14.    Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.

15.     Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "That glass is twice as large as it needs to be."

Hostelite:  “Fuck the glass, lift the goddamn bottle.”

16.    If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they''d all be a lot more comfortable.

17.     Definition of a College Prof:  Someone who talks in other people’s sleep.

18.    1000 ways to trick your parents into slipping you more pocket-money.

19.    How to optimize your underwear: by wearing them again- insideout !

20.   A whole wing thriving on a single bucket and a single soap.

21.     Just because we dont get to do it, we figured out that studying is a lot better than sex. Here’s how :
     You can usually find someone to do it with.
     When you open a book, you don''t have to worry about who else has opened it.
     You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
     You don''t have to put your beer down to do it
     If you get tired, you can stop, save your place, and pick up where you left off.
     You don''t get embarassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
     A little coffee and you can do it all night.
     If you aren''t sure what you''re doing, you can always ask your roommate for help!

And last but not the least, my no-1 favourite :

If you have been applying for jobs to start when you graduate but have been rejected, try sending off this letter....

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your letter of March 24th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal   to offer me employment with your company.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and  promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your company''s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.

Sincerely,

Well, i could only remember this much. For further details, contact me or my mentor         Mr. Goes on Rambling – Anjan Mahapatra. Hope you guys had a blast . Keep learning the crazy nuances of life, a hostelite’s way !